Archive for May 13th, 2009

Summer is coming.  I can’t wait.  I love summer days and the fact that with the kids out of school there is very little structure.  I love the idea that we can wake up with no plans and end up at the ocean or on a trail in the middle of the woods.  I love that we can truly fly by the seat of our pants.  The truth is I have been looking forward to this summer since the kids started school last year, more specifically since they started school, religious education and soccer practice last September.

I hate the school year.  I hate that Zane (my two year old and I) are limited in our outings to being back by the time the big kids get home from school.  I hate soccer practice, the hours I spend in a car knowing exactly where I am going and what I am doing which, since I am not the one playing soccer, is standing around doing nothing for an hour and a half then turning the car around rushing home to eat dinner at nine o’clock at night and going to bed. The weekends in the fall, winter and spring are no better, soccer, indoor soccer and more soccer.  There is no spontaneity to those seasons.

But summer is brilliant.  In the summer I can go to sleep with no idea what I will be doing the next day, wake up to find that it is another beautiful day and head out on an adventure.  We can bike in DC.  We can go to the Eastern Shore and have lunch in St. Michael’s.  We can go for a hike in Gun Powder Falls State Park.  There are a thousand things to do and nothing to stop us.  I love the summer.

But, now the kids are getting bigger and the commitments begin to creep.  There are sports camps that are optional – except not really, if you want to make the high school soccer team.  There are running sessions that are optional but again, not really if you want to make varsity cross country.  My husband, who I love dearly, has also started creeping into my summer plans.  He sends me emails about camps, pick up games and training sessions.  He asks me whether the kids are practicing.  I answer as civilly as possible that the summer is the summer.  That it is the one time that even mom gets a break.  That the kids will not become fat, lazy, non-soccer playing losers if they take the break as it was intended.  And then I feel guilty.

Already, I feel guilty and I know that this will be the end of my summer, the summer that I have looked forward to for months now.  I know that I will make it to the pool maybe twice.  That I will spend hours standing beside a soccer pitch.  That the summer will end I will once again miss the beauty of Gun Powder Falls State Park.  But until it happens, I will still fantasize about my perfect summer.

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