Life Lessons

There are life lessons we teach our children even if we don’t fully believe in them ourselves. Bad guys always lose.  Hard work will be rewarded.  Perseverance pays off.  They are lessons of hope and we hand them toour children as gifts.  They may learn the hard way that these lessons are not absolutes but for as long as we can, we will give them these gifts of hope.

Last summer my son worked everyday towards one goal – making his high school soccer team.  He ran, lifted weights and attended informal scrimmages every weeknight of the summer in hopes of making just the right improvement and making the team.  Unfortunately, he attends a highly competitive school and 42 other freshmen came out with the same goal.  In the end there were only seven spots available and my son and several of his friends did not make the team.

On the final day of tryouts, after the announcement was made, we walked back to the car and talked about what his next move would be.  He would sign up for cross country and tryout again the next year.  The next day he showed up for cross country practice and was greeted by four of his friends who had also not made the cut for soccer.  Throughout the fall they ran cross country, played on a club soccer team and talked about their chances of making the team the following year.  Gradually the sting wore off and they began to enjoy being a part of a team and some even talked about sticking with cross country throughout high school.

But as fall turned to winter they entered futsal season and remembered how much they loved the game.  They started talking again about tryouts and how they would accomplish their goals.  They played their spring seasons and continued to run and lift all with the hopes that the life lessons would hold true.

When tryouts finally rolled around they entered with the gift of hope we as parents had bestowed on them and we, the parents, stood beside the field with fingers crossed and stomachs knotted hoping this would not be the moment our lessons proved to be wrong – hoping that there is value in hard work and perseverance.  I would love to say that hope won out over doubt in my mind but it didn’t.  I spent each of the four days of practice planning how I would console my heartbroken child.

On the last day, the coaches sat each of the 45 boys down for two minute meetings to tell them whether they had made the team or not and why.  I stood there with the other parents waiting for the smile or the look of dejection that would give us the answers.  For the five of us this was pure torture but slowly our boys made their way across the field and all five of our sons had made the team.  To top it off one of the boys proudly announced that in his meeting with the coach he had been told, “Maybe you weren’t the most skilled soccer player out there but you worked the hardest, you never gave up, and that’s just as important in a player.”

So, for another day at least, our children can still believe in these life lessons and in their parent’s gift of hope. And maybe we as parents can have a little more faith as well.